Growth Advantage Mindset?

Simply put, in a growth mindset, people believe they can develop their abilities and talents if they work at it and are willing to try, fail, and learn. Pioneered by Carol Dweck in her best-selling book, Mindset, and since adapted in education, business, and science, growth mindset is compared to a “fixed mindset” where things “are what they are” and are hard or impossible to change.

As you explore the differences between mindsets, you may find some aspects either to be comfortable or uncomfortable. The initial assessment of Advantage Mindset is its own growth experience - and growth stretches us. We’ll now explore this elephant more closely. Take your time as you read the descriptions and, for the moment, set aside explaining why you might feel one way or another. 

Fixed Advantage Mindset (FAM), Growth Advantage Mindset (GAM) 

1. Finite vs. Abundant Earned Advantages

The FAM focuses on constraints of time, resources, scarcity, competition, “luck,” and other factors outside of one’s control that limit the opportunities for earned advantage. The GAM recognizes that opportunities are created by intentional action and expanded through cooperation in time and with resources within the collaborators' influence. The FAM isn’t necessarily hoarding or looking to take earned advantage from others but sees through a lens of limitation rather than abundance. Seeing through a lens of abundance, the GAM recognizes that there’s not only enough to go around but that, properly understood, earned advantage can be grown without limit.

2. Experiences – Mine vs. Others

The FAM focuses on its own experiences of Advantage as the “source of truth” and is skeptical of the experiences of others where they are different. The GAM values its own experiences of Advantage as the beginning of understanding the entire range of how people experience Advantage and seeks to understand experiences different from their own. The FAM explains away the different negative (or positive) experiences of others as exceptions or rare cases without recognizing the protective role of unearned advantage. The GAM recognizes and works with the reality of others’ negative (or positive) experiences to develop understanding, and, perhaps, empathy and compassion.

3. Unearned Advantage Discussions – Problematic vs. Necessary

The FAM focuses on the inevitable discomfort that arises in recognizing and working with advantage, and fears conversations only heighten tensions and resentments. The GAM recognizes that expanding opportunities is worth the discomfort and believes discussions, even uncomfortable ones, are not only valuable but the only path forward. The FAM may recognize the need for dialogue and problem-solving, but either can’t see how to work with it or can’t see the tangible upsides. The GAM recognizes the need and the upsides and, as uncomfortable as it will be, sees the only way out is through.  

5. Tough Questions – Avoid vs. Face

Similar to #3 Discussions, the FAM avoids internally exploring difficult issues of unearned advantage and avoids the “cognitive dissonance” that comes with recognizing the differences between “what is” and “how it should be.” The GAM accepts that these explorations are uncomfortable but seeks to grow both its own knowledge and the opportunities for earned advantage. The FAM may fervently believe and describe equality of opportunity as right and worth fighting for - the FAM is not necessarily sexist, racist, or any other -ist.  But, to avoid the risk of tipping into the overwhelm zone, the FAM struggles to face the reality that opportunity is not fairly distributed and will avoid exploring that part of the elephant. The GAM, perhaps due to its practice with effort, learning, and improving, can more confidently explore the growth zone without risking overwhelm.      

6. Unconscious Biases – “Bad” people vs. “All” people

The FAM likely rejects or resists the concept of unconscious biases from an authentic sense of morality – “Being biased is bad and I’m a bad person if I am biased against different people.” Unconscious biases is a particularly tough question (#5). The FAM holds that ‘color-blind’ or ‘gender-blind’ are attainable human standards as well as aspirational legal standards. Despite best intentions, while courts tell us we should strive to be blind, science and experience tells us we aren’t and can’t be. The GAM recognizes that all human beings carry unconscious biases that can only be managed (they can’t be eliminated) when they are made conscious. .

7. Sees Selves – Identity vs. Experienced

All people typically see themselves as informed, fair, just, reasonable, funny, likable, and most other positive descriptions. That’s human. But, the FAM sees itself as it wants to be seen by others, its “identity” in personality terms, without insight into how it’s actually experienced. The GAM sees itself as others experience it, typically through well-tuned awareness of self, others,  and self-on-others. The GAM sees itself for what it is – for better and for worse. Facing another tough question, the FAM protects itself by focusing on intentions without awareness, “That’s not what I wanted/thought/meant!” The FAM can leave a conversation mystified by how people reacted to them when others were mystified by what the FAM said or did. The GAM recognizes the differences between what it meant to convey and how people received it. 

8. React/Respond – Fight, Flight, Freeze, Appease vs. Engage Assertively

The FAM reacts to uncomfortable discussions of Advantage in classic stress-induced reactions of annoyance or anger (fight), withdrawal (flight), inaction (freeze), or surrender (appease). The GAM responds to these discussions with developed practices of assertive, and even energized engagement. To be clear, no one enjoys the difficulty of these discussions and tough questions. These initial stress-induced reactions are human, inevitable, and some - GAM or FAM - are more naturally susceptible to them than others. The GAM develops and practices skills, including the ones Maria learned in Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction, to cycle through these and reduce their impact, enabling more intentional engagement with the difficult discussion.  

9. Feedback – Avoids vs. Seeks

Because it believes it knows all it needs to know on the topic or is not equipped to face the likelihood that it doesn’t know, the FAM will avoid seeking or accepting feedback from others about its behaviors or words. The GAM, because it wants to learn and knows it can improve, seeks and welcomes feedback from others as a key growth practice. The FAM may say, “I know what I know” or, “That’s my story and I’m sticking to it,” or, more simply, “That’s your problem!” The FAM may also avoid offering feedback or challenging someone because it believes it won’t matter if it does. The GAM takes the position, “feedback is a gift” even if it’s not easy to accept or to give. The GAM sees the potential for growth, even if only after initial rejection and upon later reflection - it’s own or by others. 

10. Opportunity for Earned Advantage Discussions – Win/Lose vs. Win/Win

For all the reasons we’ve discussed and based on #1 above the FAM approaches discussions of expanding opportunities for earned advantage as a threat to itself – “If someone else is to gain, it must be at my expense.” The GAM, on the other hand, recognizes that “rising tides float all boats” when all the boats are equally well-maintained and fitted out. Human beings are competitive by nature, some more than others. Both FAM and GAM may be fierce competitors!   But, because the FAM sees limited opportunities for earned advantage, and because it tends toward media messages and information sources that support its mindset, it struggles to see how others can gain without themselves having to lose. The GAM, because it sees potential to grow, and because it will test its beliefs with an intentional approach to different and diverse perspectives, sees the potential for win/win, even in a competitive world.  

Now What?

After reading this list, you may find yourself in either or both FAM and GAM. Take “Tough Questions,” for example. Sometimes, you may find that you’re in one or the other depending on what the questions are about! We all have moments and topics that stimulate FAM. The key advantage mindset question is,which are you more often and are you aware? You may find you usually have a FAM and feel conflicted about it. Or, you may find you often have a GAM and are feeling a bit smug about it.